I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
