just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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