I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
