you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
