:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
