Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I smell stomach acid.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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