Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
