oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This is the high leading the old right now
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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