Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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