my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
