thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
