god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
