It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Floor bacon is actually really good
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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