Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
