Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
