This is not my ceiling
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
