So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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