Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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