In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
