Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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