Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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