My hand turned me down
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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