People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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