It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
