are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
