i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
