i just google imaged poop.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
