I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Houston, we have a blender
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
