How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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