This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
