I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
