They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Man, jail baloney is awful.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You ruined the universe
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
