You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
