she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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