I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
accomplished twins. life is a go
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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