Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
