rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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