told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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