Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
