And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
