Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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