i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
honey bunches of taint.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
