I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
