I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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