Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she pinky promised me she was 18
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
