so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
