when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
