after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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