brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
