so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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